The Catholic Weekly 30 August 2020

catholicweekly.com.au 4 NEWS 30, August, 2020 Helping build a brighter future for children and families in crisis. Dunlea Centre 35A Waratah Road Engadine NSW 2233 Phone 02 8508 3900 AUSTRALIA'S ORIGINAL BOYS' TOWN A place for change... www.dunleacentre.org.au SHE ARRIVED with her life in a small pink bag, a confused look on her face and a sim- ple, hand-written note that read: “I don’t eat redmeat and I need to be woken up at 1am each night to go to the toilet”. Apart from that, little Rosie was a completemystery. The tinyblonde-haired, blue- eyed girl didn’t know anyone who lived in the house or how long she’d be there … but what she did know was for the first time in a long time she felt safe. As hard as it is to believe, 6-year-old Rosie is one of the lucky ones. Every night in NSW there are hundreds of children fromnew- borns and upwards desperate for somewhere to call home. The state’s “secret gener- ation” of children can spend weeks, months even years look- ing for a family while some nev- er actually find one. Stays in short-term housing while waiting for permanent placements can vary and could see children jumping around night to night between different locations. The older they get the harder they are to place. Not because of their background or the trau- ma they have been through but purely because of their age, incredibly, at age eight, boys in particular are considered “too old” and have very little hope of being fostered. Similarly, teenagers aged 15 and up tend to have little in- terest in being placed in care and would rather couch surf or crash with friends than stay in a system which they believe has failed them. Last month it was estimated there were more than 200 re- quests for assistance, with ap- proximately 50 per cent for long term care; 30 per cent for short term; 10 per cent for immedi- ate and 10 per cent for respite carers. Most care sought was for boys and the majority of chil- dren requiring care were aged 11-15 years, followed by 6-10 years. Family Spirit, a foster care and adoption agency, is cur- rently at capacity with 100 chil- dren in their care. Looking after children as far afield as Lithgow in the west, Hornsby to the north and Campbelltown–Heathcote in the south, theagency isurgently looking for carers to help with the huge numbers of young people in need of somewhere to live. With 55 foster care agencies in NSW, Family Spirit’s point of difference is its focus on Catho- lic social teachings and Jesus’ rebuke to the Disciples “let the little children come to me and do not stop them for the king- domof Heaven belongs to such as these”. CEO Jason Oldridge said the huge numbers looking for someone to care for them is nothing short of heartbreaking. He said they are limited only by the number of carers availa- ble: if they could attract 50more carers, they could place an ad- ditional 50 kids in a nurturing environment. “These kids are in this po- sition through no fault of their own and need patient, caring adults to provide them with a positive family experience,” he said. “Everydaywe seebroadcasts going out to various agencies desperate to find homes for these kids, and sadly quite often we know it will never amount to anything because there just isn’t enough carers. “Just yesterday a plea went out for a home for siblings aged Kids in need of a home Hundreds of Sydney children are in desperate need of love and attention. Maybe you can help three and five who are unable to live with their family, but we had to decline the request, how does that happen? “I have no idea if and when they will find a family as we just don’t have carers to take them.” In 2018, the NSW Govern- ment re-prioritised foster care in the state with the aim of get- ting double the number of chil- dren into safe and permanent homes by 2023 and changing the landscape of the sector al- together. Research has shown chil- dren have better outcomes staying within the family unit despite there being challenging circumstances, soagencies now need to spend more time at- tempting to repair family units leaving some children vulnera- ble for longer. Significant risk of harm, abuse or neglect needs to be proven before a child is re- moved. And sadly, no matter how bad their home life, children will always prefer to stay with family than be placed in care. “With the Premier’s priori- ties we now have to complete intensive work with mum, dad and other family members to demonstrate if a child can be restored, as well as caring for the child and the carer as they establish a new family,” Mr Ol- dridge said. “And no matter how bad things are, at the end of the day children will usually want to know why they can’t stay with theirmumand dad. “It means that kids seem to be entering care at age five rather than three so enduring difficult conditions for longer in the hope the situation can be repairedwithout state interven- tion.” A veteran of the sector, Mr Oldridge considers the wait for a stable family at times can be more damaging than anything done to them prior to coming into care – therefore the need to have carers available and ready to connect with these children is a priority. Hesaidthestoryofeight-yea- roldOlivia will stay with him for a lifetime. “An experienced foster care couple came to us expressing a real desire to foster a child, so after 18 months of meeting potential children decided on Olivia, whose parents had con- ceived her in a psychiatric ward so going home was never an option,” he said. “Just sixweeks after welcom- ing her into their home they turned up at my office with her and all her possessions in tow tellingme they didn’t want her. “Little Olivia just sat and sobbed unable to understand what she had done wrong and as it turned out it had nothing to do with her, it was all about themand their lifestyle. “Imagine telling an Eight- year-old who was not wanted by her parents that her foster parents didn’t want her either. “There’s no blame on these kids because they are the vic- tims of their parenting and usu- ally told their whole young lives they are not important. “Sitting in that room hear- ing that just reinforced what she had been made to feel her whole life. “I have heard some pretty devastating stories in my time but this is one I will never for- get.” Mr Oldridge said anybody over 18 years of age is eligi- ble to be a foster carer. The decision is a serious one and you need to be ready to work in partnership with Family Spirit. Foster care can be dif- ficult but it can also be more rewarding than you ever dreamed. For more informa- tion contact Family Spirit on 131819. Debbie Cramsie Workingwith vulnerable chil- dren and families is chal- lenging but a task that is completedby Family Spirit staff andour sector col- leagues every single day. Some days it canbe easy to get lost in the stories of ne- glect, abuse anddespair and they doprompt the sleep- less nights andwatery eyes as you get a sense of their experience and the pain they have experienced. Every single day I amde- termined to look for hope andmake a positive differ- ence in someone’s day. I amproud to lead the teamat Family Spirit who without judgement stands side by sidewith the vulner- able children and families to let themknow that they matter (Mathew7:12, “so in everything, do to others what youwouldhave them do to you”). I would like to think that if I was ever in the same situation somebody would standbesideme. I grewup in thewestern suburbs of Sydney inwhat I would call amiddle class fam- ily surroundedby othermid- dle class families and families experiencing considerable poverty, violence and crime. These families included my friends and classmates so I feel like I grewup with a real worldperspec- tive of what some fami- lies experienceddaily. Myparentswere goodpeo- ple and always encouraged my brothers andme tohelp others. As a result the foster care systemwas attractive to themas they couldhelpoth- ers in their local community. My real worldperspec- tivewas further developed whenmy two eldest broth- ers decided tomove out of home and as a 10-year- old I foundmyself with a foster brother and very soon after a foster sister. Offering children a way out of trauma I quickly took on the role of protector and counsel- lor as I was regularly called out of class to talkmy foster brother off the roof or step in front of the school bully whowas just about topunch my brother for some sort of unexplainedoutburst. I’msuremywordswere not the same then as they are nowbut this early learn- ing allowedme todevelop patience, empathy and understanding for things you sometimes cannot ex- plain, fix or control. I amalways excitedwhen I hear about the great work that Family Spirit staffhas delivered to our children and families and the posi- tive outcomes they achieve. I amforever inspired by the resilience that our children and families demonstrate andoften re- flect onwhere I wouldbe if I was in their shoes. Themajority of the chil- dren and families we work with have experienced some sort of childhood trauma or abuse. Our car- ers understand that despite their trauma, the children are not broken and don’t need fixing, but instead need us to display empa- thy and understanding. The brilliant child psychi- atrist Bruce Perry says “the most therapeutic experi- ences do not take place in “therapy,” but in naturally occurring healthy relation- ships.... what works best is anything that increases the quality and number of rela- tionships in the child’s life”. Our aim is to develop Family Spirit into an agency that promotes naturally occurring healthy rela- tionships with staff, chil- dren, families, carers and our sector colleagues. Jason Oldridge is the Chief Executive Officer at Family Spirit. He has more than 20 years of experience leading high performing teams across the Community and Financial Service sectors. Jason Oldridge Immediate Care: A few days, often at short notice Part Time Care: A few days, overnight or regular week- ends to give long-term carers a break Short-term Care: From a few months’ duration to two years until a child can safely return home, or is placed with a long-term carer Long-term Care: May be until a child reaches 18 years or a Guardianship or Adoption Order is granted from foster care Kinship Care: Where children are looked after by a relative when they cannot remain at home TYPES OF CARE NEEDED NEW