The Catholic Weekly 19 July 2020

24 NEWS 19, July, 2020 TRADITIONAL FUNERAL DIRECTORS gregoryandcarr.com.au LOCATIONS BROOKVALE | GORDON | MONA VALE | NORTH RYDE | NORTH STRATHFIELD Gregory and Carr’s dedicated staff is available 24-hours a day, every day of the year to help you through one of the most difficult times of your life. PROUDLY AUSTRALIAN FAMILY OWNED & OPERATED 1800 266 588 WHEN THE world fell apart in mid-March and schools were closed for everyone other than the children of essential work- ers, my first thought was that I was more likely to die from being stuck at home with five children than the coronavirus. An ignoble thought, I know. It wasn’t even going to be like school holidays (which also intimidate me), during which we often prefer to trans- plant ourselves into a new home for a week and enjoy the novelty of someone else’s life. The borders were shut, and the Airbnb we had been so looking forward to in a sleepy seaside town had been can- celled. To make it all worse, shops, playgrounds and librar- ies were closed.  I was, I realised, trapped. My Catholic mum’s group had a Zoom catch up in lieu of our regular fortnightly meet- ing. I would at least find solace there.  It turned out, however, that my wholesome Catholic friends were eagerly anticipat- ing an extraweek of school hol- idays and their children being home in term two. Bushwalks, family science experiments, andmaths games awaited. “SOUNDS FUN!” I said. My voice was louder and a bit growlier than I had intended. After the call, I felt deflated, even depressed. Was I officially the worst mum in the world?  I’ll let you into a little secret: I’ve always been a teeny-weeny little bit afraid of my children. I can handle them individually, or in small doses. Or, when my husband is with me to provide cover. But the thought of supervis- ing them by myself, week after week, was terrifying. Work has always been my safe place, a place where I get rewarded for a job well done, where my office stays tidy for hours (not seconds) after I clean it up and I can have a cup of tea in peace and not have to sharemy choc- olate cake. Amidst my anxiety, I re- membered the story of Saint Elizabeth Ann Seton, whose biography I had just finished reading. Like me, she was a mother of five children un- der nine and – like me – she faced a lockdown of her own. It was 1803 and Elizabeth’s Lockdown inspiration husband William was dying. In a last-ditch attempt to save him, Elizabeth decided to leave New York for Italy to see if the warmer climate would replen- ish him. She took their eldest daugh- ter Anna Maria with them, leaving the younger four at home in the care of relatives and friends.The journey across the Atlantic by sea was long and arduous. Once the darling of New York society, Elizabeth was now near bankruptcy be- cause of her husband’s failing business. Arriving in Italy, the Setons were refusedpermission todis- embark. Concerned that Wil- liam’s illness was contagious, authorities quarantined them in a “Lazaretto,” a floating ves- sel moored offshore. Too weak to walk, William had to be car- ried onto the quarantine boat as little Anna Maria trembled with fright. A guard was posted to keep the family escaping. It was effectively a prison. The family’s lockdown in a cold, dank room in the Lazaret- to was to last 25 days. With the silence punctuated only by her husband’s worsening phlegmy cough and her daughter’s in- cessant skipping to stay warm, Elizabeth’s outlook was grim. At first it seemed even God had abandoned her. She could not feel Him in prayer and she was desperately afraid she was about to descend into a period of spiritual dryness like she’d experienced in her most recent pregnancy. Elizabeth harangued God for a response. Like the per- sistent widow in the Bible, she got what she was looking for: a If only my lockdown could produce the everlasting fruits of Elizabeth’s! Buoyed by her example I decided to use the time of lockdown by taking Pope Francis’s advice to set my life right with God. ” ¾ ¾ Dr Joanna Howe Inspired by another wife and mother who became a saint: Joanna Howe with husband James and their children. PHOTO: HOWE FAMILY St Elizabeth Ann Seton had a hard life. Her example helped Joanna Howe turn crisis into opportunity deep sense of peace amidst all the uncertainty of being stuck in a jail cell in a foreign country with a bored nine year old and a dying husband. Remarkably, it was in the Lazaretto where Elizabeth’s life as a spouse finally became one with her life as a Christian. She spent her days teaching her husband to see that the life they’d lovingly made together was not his real home. She pre- pared his soul for heaven and amidst all the suffering of his fi- nal days, William experienced the conversion she had long prayed for. Elizabeth later wrote: “He [William] often says this is the period of his life which if he lives or dies he will always con- sider as Blessed …like a person brought to the light after many years of darkness.” Shortly after their release, Williamdied, leaving Elizabeth pennilessandaloneinaforeign land. Again God used this suf- fering to mould his daughter. Elizabeth’s life-changing con- version from the Episcopalian Church to theCatholicismfaith came after William’s death. From there, she flourished. Returning home to the US, she formed a school and a religious order and became one of the country’s founding Catholics and first canonised saints.  If only my lockdown could produce the everlasting fruits of Elizabeth’s. Buoyed by her example, I decided to use the time of lockdown by taking Pope Francis’s advice to set my life right with God. Life rarely gives us a do-over but here it was staring me in the face. I began to see that lockdown was a chance to re- think the all-pervading busy- ness that had consumed us as a family. Instead of sulking my way through a lockdown stuck at home with my children, I chose to embrace it. Each evening I wrote a daily schedule which I’d stick to the fridge. On it I placed a mix of activities: chores, lessons, craft, exercise, home-cooked meals, television time and free play. In the morning I could hear the kids bursting into a new day by running to the fridge to check out the day’s activities andmenu plan. Their excitement aboutwhat lay ahead meant that I’d wea- rily exit the bedroom at 7am to joyous children rather than moody ones. They learnt to do their morning chore quickly, freeing them up to play before the daily schedule began. Mostly it worked brilliantly and like Elizabeth I felt like I was (finally) hitting my stride inmy vocation as a mother. In- stead of being scared of them — their noise, unpredictability and chaos — I began to enjoy their company.  It wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows. But there were plen- ty of times of genuine joy and grace. My husband agreed to return home from work by 4pm each day, thus giving me a blissful hour to myself, com- pletely kid-free. Having less to do gave me more time with them. Having fewer options in places to go, made me more purposeful with how I used our family home and neighbourhood. Without being able to attend Mass in person, we began a routine of daily online Mass over breakfast in the morning, a tradition we’re continuing as the lockdown eases. With less opportunity to go grocery shopping, I became more adept with using up pantry staples and found my- self with more time to enjoy cooking rather than rushing through it. Compared to Elizabeth’s austere lockdown in the Laza- retto, mine occurred in luxury and opulence. I baked bread, planted a veggie patch and ex- ercised in God’s creation every day. And despite being en- sconced with my rambunc- tious brood, the simplicity of lockdown life produced a fresh encounter with God and a deeper understanding of my vocation as wife andmother. As the lockdown eases I don’t know what my future holds. But like St Elizabeth, I hope my journey out of lock- down brings forth new begin- nings full of growth, self-dis- covery and, yes, eternal fruits. Dr Joanna Howe is an Associ- ate Professor of Law, author and co-editor of three books and a former NSWRhodes Scholar. She is on the Board of YouthMission TeamAus- tralia. She lives in Adelaide with her husband James and their five children. NEW